I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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