Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
