she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
