He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize