I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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