My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
