did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
