I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
