so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
