I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
