She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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