why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
