Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
