My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
organizing the empties. That sober.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Randomize
