ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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