But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
