Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
