Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
