Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Barsexuality is the new black.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
