I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
