allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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