I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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