C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
is wine microwaveable?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
