Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
