I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
