I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
