my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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