That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
