oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
