question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
