JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
