Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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