Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm too high and old for this...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
