I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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