so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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