is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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