At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
