DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
