No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize