I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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