Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
