White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
