shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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