i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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