Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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