i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
