just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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