you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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