They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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