So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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