he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
