More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Dick very happy bro
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
