spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize