Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
