Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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