My brain says no but my pants say off.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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