He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
