Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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