There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
