Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
