She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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