Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
